Saturday, February 20, 2010

Good As Memories, Feb 14, 2010

Last Valentines Day, I received no greetings from him. I really can’t remember that he greeted me. And those times, we still have constant communication as friends. But today, I got a message in my facebook mailbox. It’s just a short Valentines greeting. Although it made my day, it is still not right. We already agreed to stop the communication last month. But what am I supposed to do? I already have deleted him in all my net accounts – facebook, yahoo, gmail, etc. But I still received messages every now and then. How can he be so cruel and not so cooperative? All I ever wanted is to move on and have another man to love. I hate my stubborn heart, too. Why can’t I stop loving him? Why I can tolerate the pains he brought me? I would love to hate him but I love him more instead. What shall I do? From 2 yrs of friendship/budding love, 3 yrs of real great love, 2 yrs of breaking up stage, 1 yr of no communication, 2 yrs of new friendship, then how long shall this “moving on” stage last? I already have wasted my emotion for 5 years now but I am still stuck with his love, with our old love story. But it’s just good as memories, too.

I wish for a real life! I wish a bouquet of flowers from the man I love, too. I think I need to pray more fervently from now on. Though I can’t understand Him, I’m accepting His will on me. OMG, please make me worthy of another great love story…