My Jake, His Avatar & our Hallow Connection – Dec 29, 2009

Neyteri teaches Jake the skills he'll need to survive on Pandora, where Neyteri is the Navi’s princess. Well, that’s Neyteri from the movie “AVATAR” which I have just watched thru a pirated DVD copy that I bought because of the recommendation of my office’s best friend, Mildred. And Neyteri is just like me.

After watching this movie, here I am, writing a blog about Jake in my own life. Jake & I are friends …best friends for more than two years before we realized that we already love each other not in platonic way anymore but in romantic way. He indeed has a very pure heart.

But with a sudden emotional catastrophe, we took different path and chose another fate. He said that if it is a great love then the love will stay there. I don’t want to see him again, at least mentally. But my heart keeps on missing him every now and then. Anyway, my heart is happier now that he came back. Not to be part of my clan but rather to be a friend of mine.

How can that be? Well, he’s always in his avatar being a friend of mine. Now you know why I have a sudden connection or reflection of that movie. He’s the God in my Zenith world and I am the Goddess there. Keeping the friendship seems right but it’s really not. He cannot be part of my clan but he still owns my heart. Just like that hallow connection. I just love my world. But it would be lovelier if he’s not using any avatar anymore and sharing the pure friendship only. Can he and his avatar become one (or merge)? And be free to share our friendship, our hallow connection, in both world? But only Jake can answer that. Despite of it all, he’s always free to come and go in my Zenith world. He’s always welcome… as long as the bond is strong… as long as the hallow connection is not broken.

Stupid Cupid, stop picking on me!

In my life, I have loved once and I have loved deeply. And like anything in this world, it is just temporary. And it's not because of death but rather one heart has given up first.

Love is like a dance and it always takes two to tango. And now, even if you wanna dance... dance free as if nobody is watching, it's not possible anymore. Otherwise, it will be sort of interpretative dance only. You dance with the beats, trusting your understanding and interpreting it based on what you believed in. Now I realized, it shan't be!

It shan't be!

Love is like a room also. The entrance and exit doors give more meaning to me now than before. Most people tried to go back through exit doors. And some will follow rules and enter the room through entrance door again. I tried both. But there are rooms that you shouldn't go back. You shouldn't entertain the thoughts of going back. Because as you leave the room again, you'll bring only a broken heart. It may be the strongest organ of our body but we are responsible to make it happy. Unconditional happiness I mean.

Though, being inside that same room again gives me a temporary happiness. Thought, you're sharing genuine happiness {at least}. But how can u trust the man who have hurt you before? Who have hurt you many times? and who are still hurting you? If you have the same melodies, things might never happened. And if you still have the same melodies, he will not do another foolish act to hurt you. It is a wonderful thing to be loved, but it's never an excuse to be cruel.

So, Stupid Cupid, please, stop picking on me!